NO: The Distributive Position And Its Relationship To Respect

Learning how to recognize our own value from a deep intuitive perspective, can also help the people around us recognize theirs.  This recognition during interactions in family, community, and culture may and often does precipitate conflict and thus an opportunity for participation in conflict engagement.

This is actually a great opportunity in which we can look at ourselves to explore and learn what our own behaviors are made of as well as discover the behaviors of the people we interact with as we move through relationship.

This position also brings us to a precipice of choice, while we engage in relationship with others.  Do we say yes and allow their behavior or say no and choose an alternate path?

The ideal result would be a recognition of each others needs and a choice to migrate relationship to a place of common interest.  This is the ideal choice.

On the other hand, in the face of abusive power, one has the opportunity to act on the word NO as a means to value one’s own self respect.  This is also an ideal choice because each party in the relationship interaction has the opportunity to learn how to recognize how they value their self respect in real time, and in a most appropriate way, or not.

NO:  The Distributive Position

A house of overtures knocking on the door,
Sometimes they knock softly.
Many times they are forceful.
Direct address is fleeting,
Subtle approaches needling
Our power.

Boundary declarations
Need to rise strongly to the fore.
And manifest in grace much more.

The power of self respect
Keen in our clothing,
Is about saying NO appropriately.

And saying yes
When self respect
Comes back to us
In the overture.

Who am I really
In this incarnated sight?
A remnant of social construction,
In a family,
In a community,
In a cultural light.

This is one way of me,
Because it is who
I learned to be.

But when these constructions
Tend to jeopardize my existing,
Instead of offering
Support and caring,
Or only make the appearance
Of the same energy,
I must ask myself then,
Why am I with them
In myriad ways of socializing?

When one feels respected
By these social constructions
Then being a part of their interaction
Is a memorable collaboration.

Respect is earned, yes,
And only when it is earned
It is given back in turn.

In the matter of earning respect,
Both parties must give and receive recognition,
And do so transparently.
So one must say NO
As many times as it takes,
To disrespectful overtures in relationship.

Until the other party
Is willing to offer
A demonstration of respect
In an interaction of worthiness,
Again, one must say no
To unhealthy suggestions,
And endeavor toward exploring
Common interests.

In the deep knowing of this concept
Lies a bright light indeed.
This is a process
Of conflict engagement.

It is a learning experience
Of the give and take
In respectful offers
And respectful acceptances
Of healthy interaction in relationship.

If one party offers association respectfully,
Yet the other party
Chooses self interest,
How can the respectful giver
Feel valued in exchanges
Not meant with sincere appreciation?

It matters not the vibrations,
Seduction, deception, control, manipulation,
Or lack of caring.
What matters is the recognition
Of these energies for what they are,
And saying NO
To Power that is used
To abuse one’s respectful energy.

When we rise in faith
To the One most high
For direction in the making
Of our choices,
He dons on us
A sword of illumination,
To prepare us to offer inspiration,
In the giving and receiving
In relationship.

A vertical cloud formation in relation to the cirrus clouds around it....To me, symbolically it appears as if the vertical cloud has bestowed illumination and given off its radiance to the wispy cloud formations around it!

This is a recipe for deferential negotiation.
Kindness and compassion can exist
When each party’s actions are genuine.
These are choices of worthiness,
And precipitate momentum
Towards common interests.

When this occurs,
The act of NO
Makes much less of an impact,
Due to the efforts
Of acknowledging each other respectfully.
Our choices of relating
By truly accepting one another,
Can burgeon peace and co-existence.

It suddenly becomes clear
And God makes this known to us,
That our interacting in this manner,
Has brought us to respecting each other
And ourselves, in acceptance.

Is my choice of NO
Under good regulation?
We can re-evaluate our actions
To get to the YES in our relations.
What I mean is, am I respecting myself
And respectful of the other party’s
Appropriate learning of respect  in creation?

When we step back and see
Our methods of relating,
We have the opportunity
To teach ourselves and each other,
Respect in formation.

This photo is in my book, "Walking On HIS Footstool," with the corresponding poem, "Self Respect," on pages 124 and 125.

Self Respect

The food I eat is important to me.
This is the food He gave me to be.
So that means I honor who I am,
In all of my energy,

Instead of giving my power away
To someone or something
Who wants to take it from me.

This power is the essence of Him in me,
So instead of looking out there all worried
I listen to my heart,
And pay attention to His message for me.

©2012 Cindy Eksuzian, all rights reserved.

An Odyssey Woven In Poetry And Photographs

MS, NDR Communication Tools For Conflict Engagement

“Walking On HIS Footstool,”

A trail from individuation to divine respect.

For more information, see my “About Me” page.  Or, click on the picture and be directed to my website.

About Cindy Eksuzian

See my "about me" page.
Gallery | This entry was posted in Culture, Engaging Conflict, FAITH, Identity, Individuation, Inspiration, Motivation, Nature, Photography, Poetry, Respect, Self, Social Construction and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to NO: The Distributive Position And Its Relationship To Respect

  1. psychevida says:

    Relationships can be such a difficult milieu in which to maneuver… I had been contemplating a similar idea lately:

  2. Pingback: Opportunities For Broader Vision On U.S. Contraceptive Rule | cindyeksuzian

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