I am sitting quietly looking out over landscape with the feeling of peace in the fact that only by a blessing of God, light enters the heart in the words”Jesus is risen.” We commemorate this saying in our houses of worship, after the long period of prayer we choose to engulf ourselves in, as well as our disciplined choice to turn our attention to Holy week, with the hopes of God bringing us more meaning to our lives. So to say these words, He is risen or Jesus is risen becomes a well of profound meaning, when we choose to understand His unique and Great love for us through the lens of our heart.
Adverse life experiences give us the opportunity to discern we have this choice through Christ. When we hear or see the words, “let go, let God,” to what measure in our choices are we willing to understand an adverse life experience and the way out of the emotional traps we place ourselves in because of it.
How often do we get stuck in the trap of the word “My?” The word my can certainly be perceived as a pronoun that labels, and many of us use it in a balanced way. But how often do we let the emotional feelings we place on it turn into an expectation of ownership, where we all of a sudden realize the extent of ownership we place, can be at the expense or exclusion of someone or something else in our lives? Most often, when we use the word my, our expression of it indicates to us that we are in possession of something or someone. For example, we often say, my house, my car, my camera, my iphone, my spouse, my job, etc.
It seems that society has a voracious need to express the act of possession. This, in real time is causing a race to a place of “my,” where, that which or whom we categorize as a possession of ownership, or covet to be possessed as owned, is only and matter of factly ours. We all do this too. I was watching the food network the other day and all I heard in the cooking demonstrations was the word “My,” my scallions, my pork shoulder, my blender, my oven etc.
Seeing this way of expressing the word “My,” made me wonder how much I, myself, was buying into possessions to the extent of excluding someone or something else in life?And, is this act of expressing ownership hindering me from realizing my full potential of giving?
What would happen to me, emotionally, if I lost, that which has caused me to feel such a way of ownership?
Imagine being without a possession that brings much joy in the pool of unique creative energy we call identity. Imagine this material thing somehow becoming gone from one’s own possession. Imagine it being forced out of our possession. As Holy week came upon my existence, I prayed to God as I walked the path of Jesus, listening deeply in the heart lens, to understand His human flight we call “The Passion,” as He obediently gave His life for us.
Jesus willingly lost His life for us.
Could we do the same with our emotional act of possessing?
He obediently walked, bearing the enormous weight of His crucifix while a crown of thorns cut the skin on his head. He obediently walked, enduring the calls and stones of a jeering crowd, who persecuted his light. He obediently walked by the force of man, uphill to Golgotha, where his hands and feet were pierced with nails to secure him to death.
After contemplating how He chose to be, in losing His life, I hoped to receive a more profound meaning of His loss and how He hopes our hearts can engage the potential of His meaning of life for us, to help us lift our human spirits out of the feelings that come with ownership, and loss, in order to be closer to Him.
What came to me through “My” choice to be close to our LORD, was that a deeper understanding of another’s pain of loss, helps us through our very own sufferings of it. I might see the words, “Let go, let God,”, but now I feel them fully. The realization that we are not alone in our sufferings of loss, somehow makes our experience of it smaller and less painful.
And, there exists a hope of something else for us.
Did my camera go off
To a river of light,
Or has an act,
By unworthy hands
Caused it’s flight
To embolden the “my”
Of another’s consciousness,
God invites us,
To let go of possessions.
If we act with them
For opportunities only motivated
By self interest,
There will continue to be
Only man’s way,
As He makes the “my place”
For us in darkness.
If our cause
With the material resource
Is worthy of His blessing,
Then many bolts of lightening
Will descend into our being,
To be given freely,
When we give freely,
His gift of light from Heaven.
©2015 C. E. Eksuzian, all rights reserved.
A reading from “‘My’ Mediations On Saint Paul” by Rev. James E. Sullivan, M.S. Acts of the Apostles – Epistles 1967 Confraternity of the Precious Blood, Brooklyn, NY
Mark Returns Home–Paths of Duty Acts 13:13-14
Preludes: The grace LORD, to make duty and love the reasons for all choice.
“Lord, how often my choices have been based purely on natural likes and dislikes. I preferred the company of one group of people–and s0 I spent most of my time with them rather than with the other groups, who needed me more. I was fond of a certain type of work–it was more pleasant and easy —so I schemed to get into that work, rather than the work for which I was better suited and in which I was more needed.
Lord, the sight of Barnabas puts me to shame. Teach me to love the way he loved.
Let duty—love for souls—be the compass which guides me in every choice.